All about

I like who I am becoming. I am starting to find out what it is that I want to do in life. I am starting to find out what it is that I am all about. 

Justifications

One of my teacher always said: "Justify all your actions and you'll never learn" Obviously he said it because students are always justifying why they weren't paying attention or talking to their classmate next to them. 


But in his words there is a lot of wisdom for living life. If I excuse my self for everything I do, I'll never see why the other person is pointing out that area of my actions... because I'll believe I'm never wrong. Of course as humans we get defensive once a flaw is pointed out... but try to take their words for consideration and if you find you disagree with their statement find concrete reasons why... and if there was some truth in their words then take it and try to change it for the best. 


So pay attention to what is said about your actions. Whether it comes from your mom, friend, or rumor.

Absence

If you read my blogs you'll notice I write out of experience... so here goes another one.

I've learned this: "Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire." 

Now this has two analogies... because not only the bon fire represents a passionate relationship but it could also represent a hate... and the candle could represent peace or dimming relationship... 


But I feel as well that whenever there has been an absence it gives the space for the relationship to weaken, and the presence of it strengthens it.. (Basically: "Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.") but also being present gives the space to weaken the relationship because the truth is obvious.

... confusing.

One Art

by Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn't hard to master; so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster. Lose something every day. Accept the fluster of lost door keys, the hour badly spent. The art of losing isn't hard to master. Then practice losing farther, losing faster: places, and names, and where it was you meant to travel. None of these will bring disaster. I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or next-to-last, of three loved houses went. The art of losing isn't hard to master. I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster, some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent. I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster. --Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident the art of losing's not too hard to master though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

Make a YOU turn.

When we are asked, "Who are you?", What is our response? "I am a mom," "I'm a doctor", "I live in Costa Rica.", "I'm studying psychology". Often the answer is not who you are, but what you do, or your social position. etc. ... we don't answer properly because we don't really know who we are. We've probably never thought about it. & yes it is hard to know who we are, since we are living beings, we are constantly changing.

Nonetheless we are the sum of our skills, talents, wisdom, experiences and the way we perceive things. I do encourage you strongly to get to know a bit of who you are to be able to live happily and fully, because you must know what achievements will make you proud of yourself, you must know who you are to choose a partner wisely, to know what kind of job will make you productive... basically for every component of your life.


Now, there's a guy named Viktor Frankl (I <3 him), and he wrote the following:
"[Today] no instinct tells [man] what he has to do, and no tradition tells him what he ought to do; sometimes he does not even know what he wishes to do. Instead, he either wishes to do what other people do (conformism) or he does what other people wish him to do (totalitarianism). "


So today I just wanted to encourage you to find who you are... and think "am I doing things because of other people or are they what I really want?..." I'm avoiding you a feeling called emptiness and worthlessness, eventually if you don't do what makes you -you then you will feel like your life is worthless and that you've wasted it.


In other words make a you turn today :)

Decisions.

The hardest thing in life is to know which bridges to cross and which to burn.

You know those decisions that, well, you just have to make... and you're unsure what the right thing to do is?... At this point of my life I feel I've got to choose over some important things. And well I can't make my mind about it. Ughh... and just when I think I've made my mind about it, I think I haven't. 

Attitude

When I read a book called "A Man's Search For Meaning" a couple of months ago, a lot of what the writer said will stick with me forever because he impacted me. Now one aspect is the following:

"Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." Viktor E. Frankl

This coming from a guy who survived the concentration camps, inspires me deeply. Because he was living example that no matter what's the situation or what is taken away from us (belongings, career, dignity, family, spouse...) we can chose our attitude, our perspective of seeing things... hope remains until we give it up. 

The Perfect Combination

Lately I was reminded that life is sometimes painful and sometimes it's beautiful, but most of the time it’s both.

Now I try to be positive most of the time but my boyfriend is a bit more negative; and while having a conversation about life he said it's painful and I said life is beautiful. Later on thinking about it, I realized it's not always beautiful... for I remember there being painful things along my path, situations that have made me cry or mad. But there's also moments were I've experienced love and happiness. Neither him nor I were wrong, since the suffering we live through makes us realize how beautiful life is. If we only held perfection we wouldn't know it was perfect because you couldn't compare to appreciate. Without suffering, there wouldn't be beauty... 

Crippled Inside

Regrets. This remorse in our hearts telling us we should have done differently. It makes you feel guilty, even weep over it. Why did it happen that way? Why can't we change it now? ... and meanwhile we remember those words that say "Don't regret it, it all has a reason for being, plus it makes you grow in experience... You will be stronger." And I guess they are right, if we change our approach and see these situations as lessons, not as regrets.  (super cliche, I know) BUT!

If I look back on my life, I realize that the moments I would have hoped that never happened have led me to the absolute satisfaction I am found in. This peace I feel with myself. 

Don't let these feelings keep you down for long, don't let them 'cripple you inside' (like my beloved John Lennon would have said), hinder your present, nor limit your future. 

In all honesty.

Honesty, said to be precious but not an easy route (I should know by experience, believe me). This is a moral character I've always abided by.

 I believe it to be such a valuable trait in a person, though I have found very few who practice it. I'll dare say, maybe 3 or 4 people have been honest with me, about hard stuff I mean, in my whole life. To me honesty is never offensive, but appreciated because I've realized how rare is to find someone who is. I wish more people were less deceiving and most sincere.

"Honesty: the best of all lost arts." Mark Twain

Ten+Ten (do the math)

I woke up, and it was May 28th, 2010. It was my 20th birthday. There was no new feeling, I didn't feel any different... but I was happy inside. Though every call, message, email, FB wall said "WOW 20, you're getting old"... I'd argue differently, I'm so young! If we draw a time line of my life, guys I'm just getting started!.. well if God gives me the gift of living till I'm about 60... That's like 2050! agghh... wow that sounds so far. Have I got a long fun journey ahead of me still! 

             I'm happy to say I've lived 20 years, and that they have been really great. Because as I've grown older, I've learned so much- that I wouldn't change it for anything. I wouldn't want to be any younger or older... the time came, and hopefully the time will come for being 60 years old, and wow I'm looking forward to this wrinkled sexy Val! :P 

Point is, growing older, change your attitude about it. I've noticed how the fear of aging robs people's life of any meaning... We all grow older, recognize it and change the way you think about it and you'll be able to enjoy your aging process . There's no vial or cure for staying young... Plus aging is a natural part of the circle of life. 

There's no such thing as "golden years" 

YOUR WHOLE LIFE CAN BE GOLDEN! 
It's just your decision.

Happiness

Happiness. That moment when endorphin fills up your blood stream. Ah, that feeling. In that moment where everything seems perfect. The atmosphere is filled with your emotion. The thing you wished for the most is right there in front of you, in your hands... embracing you. 
"If you want to be happy, be." 
-Leo Tolstoy.

2 ears, 1 mouth

Listen, listen... to what it's being said. Listen with an ocean of attention. It amazing to me how much can we learn from just listening, and how much can we ruin by speaking. How much we can enjoy from the sounds, whether it is the birds chirping, words of wisdom spoken by a guru, or simply the people around you. Yet we constantly say more than needed. Constantly blob useless conversations. As we don't see the nature of our body,  2 ears to listen and 1 mouth to speak. 

WORDS

I've always been a true believer that words are powerful. That they affect how we end up perceiving things and situations. 
For example if I were to go to an activity/party that I think will definatly suck, guess what most likely it will- because of my attitude. I am already thinking it will be boring and unenjoyable. And this same concept applies to everything at least for me. 


Words. These codes, sounds and vibrations that have meaning to us also affect us deeply. As I was receiving a neurology class (about the brain) yesterday, the teacher spoke how words impact the brain. As he went on explaining I was like "yeah yeah you're right" not paying much attention since I already knew how strong they are- or so I thought. He went forth and did an example on a classmate, which I won't go into detail because it is hard to explain, but in a matter of minutes he proved how words (positive and negative) affect us deeply in seconds. I was amazed. I will tell you this, words affect our physical strength, how we behave, how we perceive the things around us... 
So important note to self and you: Remind yourself and others their/your good qualities often.  
Our brain only has the capability of receiving and perceiving the stimulations it receives. It has no sense of humor, it doesn't know that insults are not be believed in. Tell yourself you are capable of doing things and you will, that this party will be a good experience, etc! Basically be positive for your sake. Paint yourself in confidence. 


And though I am not Buddhist, I love this verse said by Siddhartha Gotoma (Buddah): "Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care, for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill."  


And whether you believe in God or not Proverbs 16:24 says
Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. This is exactly my point, speak/think/be positive words and see the change in your life. Seriously God knows his stuff. 


We are as strong/weak, boring/fun, special/worthless as we think we are.

Serendipity

The occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way. The faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for. A seeming gift for finding something good accidentally.


Just now I became conscious how full of fortunate serendipity moments my life is made up of. Reading a book while the soothing rain falls, having a piece of the best chocolate cake joined by the greatest companion and conversation, spontaneous shopping with great friends, laying on a hammock and watching the orange/pink/blue/purple hues tones on the sky. This realization makes me so happy. ♥ 


& so my new favorite word.


Is your life full of serendipity moments?

Love

The definition of love is different to all of us, and I’m sure there are a thousand different definitions out there based on religion, and experience. And I bet you have your own but here’s mine.

I believe for it there are always present these five components: commitment, effort, passion, compatibility, and intimacy (not necessarily sexual).  

Commitment to being faithful and trustworthy to your significant other

Passion: intense desire for the significant other

Compatibility: Well you can’t exactly passionly, committedly and effortly love someone if there is no spark, because there are no matching points on were the relationship can grow and feed itself out of.

Intimacy: Important because this is the closeness between both, because in this intimate conversations you get to know each other personally and trust grows.

Effort: Love is sustained and strengthens by action, by the pattern of devotion in things we do for each other every day. The effort shown by both parties… In a relationship there are two people equally involved and nonetheless there are many things where we are to meet half way. I cannot stress enough on this because we humans are islands and for a relationship to work, both must build a bridge to meet half way.

Love is ecstasy and torment, freedom and slavery. Love bonds and connects us in a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. It enhances the relationship and comforts the soul.The depth of love cannot be measured. Love is the result from meeting each other’s needs, showing interest, bearing with each other, appreciating each other… Love should be experienced and not just felt.  

To be surprised.

"Instead of telling our young people to plan ahead, we should tell them to plan to be surprised." 
- From motion picture Dan In Real Life.

Lesson learned/realized

You never know the road time will take you in. I never expected or even thought to think to move from my home country, and worse! To be so happy here. Maybe living without expectations, there is happiness 'cuz its a wonderful surprise to receive whatever comes.

It might come as lovely as the breeze on a hot day, as a great cup of the best coffee, much sought advice, a slice of pie to satisfy the tongue or a phone call from a friend/couple, and how marvelous is it to receive this. :)

Life In Rosy Hues

Having Edith Piaf most famous songs has never justified my love for her specially after seeing the long, slow-paced, boring movie they did about her life called of course "La Vie en Rose". It was till about 2 months ago the song La Vie en Rose started to become one of the top played and favorite songs, though it was after I bumped into this lovely cover done by Pomplamoose, surely not their best video but my favorite song<3 
Listen to it here. It has such beautiful words, never would've imagined this written by her, but I guess she did have a sweet side to herself. 
So here's to the obsession for this song. 

LA VIE EN ROSE (English translation) 

Eyes that gaze into mine,

A smile that is lost on his lips

That is the unretouched portrait

Of the man to whom I belong to.

When he takes me in his arms

And speaks softly to me,

I see life in rosy hues.

He tells me words of love,

Words of every day,

And in them I become something.

He has entered my heart,

A part of happiness

Whereof I understand the reason.

It’s he for me and I for him, throughout life,

He has told me, he has sworn to me, for life.

And from the things that I sense,

Now I can feel within me

My heart that beats. 

In endless nights of love,

A great delight that comes about,

The pains and bothers are banished,

Happy, happy to die of love. 

When he takes me in his arms

And speaks softly to me,

I see life in rosy hues.

He tells me words of love,

Words of every day,

And in them I become something.

He has entered my heart,

A part of happiness

Whereof I understand the reason.

It’s he for me and I for him, throughout life,

He has told me, he has sworn to me, for life.

And from the things that I sense,

Now I can feel within me

My heart that beats. 

Every long journey starts with a single step

                                       True fact. 

Everything life is about, starts small, progresses, and blooms into something you might have never expected. 

In my life I see this in relationships, my friendship with certain people, the wonderful relationship with my boyfriend. 

Though with him it was different... it started as friendship, and later he showed affectionate interest in me, and little by little had me notice him. Eventually he asked if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend & I had to make a decision. For some reasons it was a hard decision, but after some thought I decided that life is about risks, otherwise its boring... you can't be in your safe zone always. So I took the chance with this boy and I thought, "if things go right we're meant to be, and if it doesn't work out, oh well better luck next time." 

The risk and journey so far has been worth it for both of us... and that small step has led us into a awesome relationship. (I promise, I'm not bluffing) We have worked hard on communication, we both believe is key to any relationship and it has proven itself to be, look how far we've gotten- two years. 

I don't know what this journey in life has in store for me, 

but don't forget to take those steps, risk and enjoy each details that make it worthwhile.

About chains.

A couple of weeks ago, I was mad. REALLY mad. 


First of all disappointed how some people expect or still believe women are "lower" than men. Frikin dinosaurs! That we are to be feminine, marry, breed babies ... and transform our life into: 6AM wake up, make breakfast for kids & husband, wake them up, get them ready, feed them, make sure they take their lunch and have everything that they might possibly need for the day. Later this amazing woman heads to work or stays at home cleaning. Once its time for the kids to come home she makes sure they are home, fed and start up their homework. Later come back from work prepare dinner. Feed everyone. Finish cleaning the house. Put everyone to sleep. OMGSH what a hassle! or am I crazy? ...Like when does she have time for herself?... for enjoying quiet time? I mean even if she doesn't have a job to attend to, she has her house to look after and have it be squeeky clean?.. no vacations, no weekends. Geez. Women are to be quiet, still, sweet, show no madness/rudeness.. ETC! 
Got me raging mad. 

Why? Well, it's a chain I wish to break. Sure I'd like to marry, but it's not an obligation... I could opt for being single all my life. Kids, sure. But something KEY here would be the husband. This guy he ought to be considerate of this, we both live in the house, we both are responsible for the kids, both of us deserve alone time, both of us have an opinion... Really just a considerate relationship.


... just needed to express that.  I'm done. 

All the best people are mad&bonkers

Yes, taken from the new film Alice and Wonderland by Tim Burton. I went to see it this weekend with my boyfriend, thought we would have to make the longest line ever but since it was early, we didn't!... 

Anyways, several things this week have got me thinking about "All the best people are mad and bonkers." Personally I find it to be the most truthful thing ever, cuz how I enjoy talking to people with interesting points of views, how I love hearing someone ramble about the wildest things... it's weird I guess, but in a way... isn't life about being mad/crazy? Doing all we can? ...We live once, to hopefully don't get to the end of it and think "hmm... how come I never learned Hawaiian?... how come I never slept on the beach?"... So in my thoughts, I was reveled why the hell not dare!... be the bonkers fellows  who are happy :) 


... This has gotten me motivated, to do & learn all- that I have the opportunity to do, even if it sounds useless, I'm sure the experience will bring joy.


So here's my message going into the endless world of internet: Dare to be the person you want to be, dare to do the things that make you happy, dare, dare...
Dare one thousand million infinity times dare to be "bonkers", to be YOU. Doesn't matter if you are twelve or ninety five... you're still allowed to be happy.